#i was built to retain body fat

[salute--salute]

Seven times my doctor told me to lose weight:

When my vertebrae were slipping off of each other, causing multiple hernias and loss of function in my left leg. Would have left me paraplegic if left un-operated

When my periods hurt more after getting surgery for the above. I was told it was probably PCOS caused by my weight. No one ever checked to confirm, and it couldn’t possibly be from spinal surgery

When my bouts of depression would be easily solved, but always return. It was un-diagnosed ADHD

When I couldn’t put weight on my left foot after landing weirdly after jumping while dancing. I’d broken a bone in my foot

When I couldn’t put weight on my right leg after “spraining my ankle”. I was walking around on a broken leg

When I came in with a resting heart rate of 120 bpm, unable to complete sentences without gasping for breath, with a fever of 106 degrees. It was covid-19, and it very nearly killed me

When I kept having a high resting heart rate, kept being short of breath, started having edema in my ankles, felt constantly nauseous, lost all my muscle strength, felt cramps in my torso, neck and left arm, couldn’t think, had constant stomach aches, the light hurt my eyes, kept fumbling words, lost motor skills, had hyperactive bowels, felt random bouts of pain in my feet, and couldn’t bear heat/cold anymore. It was post-viral thin fiber neuropathy, blood clotting, chronic low-grade meningitis, chronic systemic infection, and dysfunctioning lungs that are only converting ~50% of the air I breathe, all as a result of covid

These are the times that there was something else going on, that was missed because the doc dismissed me with advice to diet and exercise. No doctor ever bothered to ask me if I already did.

This isn’t counting the times that I was told to lose weight and the actual thing that was going on was diagnosed.

I haven’t stepped into a doctor’s office without being told to lose weight for about ten years.

[listentoace]

How to stop (Feederism Help)

I've been messaged by lots of people now who are into feederism and are really turned on by imagining how they grow absolutely huge, but they don't truly want to commit to the feederism/piggy lifestyle. In case that applies to you, let me offer you some help.

It is quite difficult to learn to resist such a strong fetish, but there are ways how it can be accomplished. From my own experience, a few days of uncomfortable overindulgence will usually be enough to break the illusion of "comfortably eating, enjoying endless amounts of food, being pampered, and growing huge". But to understand this, you need to really experience the suffering, struggles, pain, and discomfort of having gone too far. So here is what you'll do:

Either measure or estimate your usual caloric intake on a day of indulgence or stuffing.

Take at least triple this amount, depending on how much you want to suffer you can go as far as 5 times.

Consume this amount of calories for at least 3 days, literally forcing it down your own throat

You are free to use any foods and beverages to reach your calorie goal. It is important that you choose items that you can easily eat a lot of. Don't think you should suck down a stick of butter because of the caloric density as your stomach will get upset right after (or probably during) and you'll have to stop far before you're actually at your limit of fullness.

When you know you should stop

Once you're having the "How did I get here?", "What the hell am I doing to myself?", and "I just wanna die..." thoughts, you know that you've passed your breaking point. This is when you've made the experience of the immense suffering feederism can lead to and this memory will help you to resist falling into a cycle where you're growing uncontrollably. Instead, you will be more capable to reach a weight you're comfortable with yourself, stay there and really know for yourself that this is where you want to be.

Yes, I'm for once giving advice that isn't meant to make you as fat as possible but rather as fat as you want to be yourself. What a time to be alive!

Some more info

If you're truly scared by losing control to feederism, you should 100% do this to build aversion. You don't have to worry about weight gain as your body isn't adjusted to this amount of calories and will actually start burning more due to the immense surplus. Your maximum weight gain after 3 days should be no more than 2 pounds. Keep in mind that you will weigh in a lot heavier because your stomach is full and you'll probably retain a lot of water. To make sure, weigh yourself before starting and then 7 days after.

Feederism is strongly tied to habits. We call bad habits "addictions" as well, the neurological patterns are either very similar or literally exactly the same, based on the type of habit and addiction. It's always a cycle of cue, action, and reward which turns into craving, action, reward. The longer you stay in this cycle of uncertainty, occasionally stuffing yourself and indulging, then feeling guilty, the more likely you're about to end up with feederism as a habit/addiction. This is because the feeling of guilt occurs far after the consumption of food and is much weaker than the pleasure you feel while stuffing. Additionally, guilt often occurs when you notice or expect weight gain. It is not directly tied to the act of overeating. It's because of this that you keep doing it again. Overstuffing like described above will lead to an immediate negative feeling which will be quite strong and is then directly related to overeating.

Feel free to consume encouraging content while doing this. The further you can push yourself, the more aversion you'll built, which will help you regulate your feederism tendencies.

Also, after having done this, you might start to think "It wasn't that bad" after a while. This doesn't have to happen but it can be the case. You can repeat this as many times as necessary. This depends fully on how strong the kink and cravings are for you. It is actually better to directly do this instead of sneaking in snacks and comfort food again if you're not looking to gain any more weight. Your metabolism will rise quickly with an immediate surplus, but it'll actually adjust and slow down again with occasional, smaller stuffings and snacks.

If you have further questions, please use the consider using the comments instead of my DMs so others get the info as well! I hope this helps! :)

[youremyheaven]

Bella Hadid: Kibbe Analysis

This is one of the few times where the Kibbe discussion about a celebrity is mostly right. Bella is usually typed as a Soft Dramatic and I agree with this typing!!

TW: mention of body dysmorphia, eating disorders etc

Bella, unlike most supermodels who tend to be Flamboyant Naturals, is a Soft Dramatic and I think this has caused her to have an identity crisis/body dysmorphia on top of growing up with Yolanda Hadid as her mother. Both Yolanda & Gigi are FNs with a typical lean, athletic build. Bella, being an SD has a fleshier, softer body.

when she gains weight, she gains it in her arms, thighs, hips, bust etc. She has broad shoulders, a small well defined waist and full hips. She has a natural hourglass body which most models don't.

I think many of her struggles with body image arise from the fact she does not have a typical rectangular model build and that she naturally has soft flesh.

i feel weird calling it "soft flesh" but this is a picture of karlie kloss on the left and bella on the right. Karlie has a typical model build, strong shoulders, a wide square torso, her arms and thighs all have some muscle definition. She's in a sense kind of "strong looking".

Bella has soft thighs and arms, a very defined waist and in general she looks more "curvy" and "soft". The thing about being an SD is that working out and hitting the gym regularly will not give you muscle definition, with weight gain and weight loss, your body just shrinks or expands, instead of looking ripped.

This is something many SDs have spoken about and feel conflicted about; their body is not the kind that can build muscle or be "toned". That's how Naturals are build not SDs.

Just look at Bella next to Gigi and you can tell how differently they are built and how different their essences are. Coloring also plays a huge role in determining someone's essence. Dramatic essence relates to someone of high contrast coloring.

While Gigi has Natural, Classic & Ingenue essence

Bella has Romantic, Dramatic & Ethereal essence

As far as I know, Bella has only had a nose job in this picture. She naturally has full cheeks and a softer face. The sharpness comes primarily from her eyes and eyebrows. Also, remember that plastic surgery cannot really change your essence. In this and her early photos, it's obvious that Bella has Romantic/Dramatic/Ethereal essence.

This is just speculation but its likely that Bella felt the need to get buccal fat removal because even with weight loss, SDs tend to still have softer faces with full cheeks.

It can be really hard to grow up consuming media where no one looks like you or has your body type and there's immense pressure to be skinny. Its even worse when you come from a family of models who you don't look like and work in the fashion industry.

Despite her weight loss over the years, before she underwent cosmetic surgery, she still retained softness to her face and body due to her SD build; this must have been hard for her to endure as she felt as though losing weight/working out wasn't making much of a difference to her, i.e, she wasn't getting those hollow cheekbones, skinny arms and legs and abs.

Again. This is not her fault. She is just a Soft Dramatic.

Now look at Bella in these outfits. They honour her SD lines but also emphasize her Romantic/Dramatic essence. She looks like a Goddess.

Compare those looks to these looks. None of these outfits make her shine. They don't bring out any of her essences and she looks kind of out of place and washed out in them.

Compare these two looks.

High necks are not suitable for SDs because it emphasizes their shoulders and makes their upper body look wide and short. The length of the dress is also very awkward.

Compare that to the nude gown on the right. This is something more suited for Classics but she still looks faaaaar better although it does not make her "pop". The open neck, the waist emphasis, the floor length gown are all flattering on her.

All of these are outfits that honour her Romantic/Dramatic essence however she looks incredible in the white one and less so in the others. WHY?

The yellow outfit has a high closed neck. This is an absolutely NO-NO for SDs. The fabric is not clinging to her body or revealing her shape. Since she's not frame dominant, she kind of looks engulfed in that dress. The black plunging neck with the waist cut outs and thigh slit dysmorphs the natural lines of her body. You cannot tell that Bella is an hourglass in this black dress, it emphasizes all the wrong places.

in the picture on the left its apparent that Bella's bust breaks the lines of her frame and she has obvious "double curve".

Over the last few years, Bella has embraced a y2k style and also lost a significant amount of weight. This is a very sensitive topic and I don't want to trigger anybody but its clear that Bella hesitates to embrace her natural body type and styles that would flatter it.

SDs are prone to feeling like they're "too much". Ofc narrowing down all of Bella's struggles to her being a Soft Dramatic is silly and oversimplifying things but its important to understand that who you are, how you look, how you present yourself are all interrelated.

People who have a Dramatic essence are often described as intimidating (regardless of ID).

"Reels of Bella on the runway, staring lethally down her long nose and vamping to an ominous overlaid beat. She is steely, dead-serious, maybe a bit—and she knows this—scary."

this is an excerpt from Bella's Vogue interview and this is how the interviewer describes her.

People pick up on your energy regardless of whether or not they know about Essences or Kibbe or whatever; its an intuitive thing. People read your energy and your energy is connected to your appearance in some ways.

“The majority of the time when I meet people, they say, I just didn’t think you were going to be nice, that you were going to be this mean, scary dragon lady, or some kind of a sexbot,” she says. “That’s just not me, and if people have a better understanding of who I am, then I feel less alone within myself.”

This is what Bella says during the interview 😔.

She has always had a Romantic/Dramatic/Ethereal essence but over the course of several years worth of enhancements, her Dramatic essence became far more pronounced.

Many SDs feel conflicted about embracing the kind of exaggerated, over-the-top styles that are standard SD recommendations. It takes a lot of time and inner work to accept that this is what works for you best. Many women are afraid of dressing according to their type, esp if said type is R/TR/SD because of how much attention they draw or how it looks like they're "trying too hard". You're either stuck between looking washed out or looking over the top. There's no in-between.

Part of the journey is accepting the attention and understanding it and learning to feel comfortable with being "looked at" instead of hiding in your clothes. This requires a certain acceptance of one's own femininity in a culture that likes to put femininity into little boxes of shame ("trad wives", "bimbocore", "divine feminine"). this is obviously difficult because nobody wants to be perceived as thoughtless or unintelligent.

Like Jennie embracing a Gamine style, Bella too, has adopted a more androgynous style as of late.

“I dress like a little boy,” she suggests. “You couldn’t catch me in a dress willingly at this point in my life.”- Bella Hadid

It's not unsurprising that the last few years have witnessed Bella at the peak of her career and is now considered a bonafide supermodel who is greatly respected in the fashion circles. Its no coincidence that this has also been a time when her personal style underwent a major shift.

Earlier, say between 2015-2019, Bella dressed in ways that specifically suited her (more or less). It wasn't a style you could imitate for yourself unless you shared her ID.

Bella is credited with popularizing y2k style and was at the head of the y2k boom. This is largely a Natural style that would flatter most people (most people being Natural types). This has meant that her style is widely imitated these days.

Honouring your ID & essence means you stand out and are distinct. This means you're perceived as mean, intimidating, too sexy, over the top, bitchy etc etc

It does not make sense to walk around dressed like Vivien Leigh or Jennie Kim (during her 2016-2019 era) or Sofia Vergara or Christina Hendricks. Its not a style everybody can imitate.

Embracing a more androgynous style that largely caters to Naturals means everybody can relate to you, imitate you and connect to you. You don't stand out as much and certainly don't seem "over the top" or "intimidating".

compare these two looks.

the one on the left is something that would suit an SD and the one on the right is a typical y2k fit

the fur coat and boots is not something most people can imitate but the tight top from the kids section with those low rise pants are.

anyways, i hope this was insightful<3

[outerexpanse]

downpour headcanons + designs :)

Thoughts on each under the cut, some contain direct spoilers. (Lots of writing)

Note for pronouns listed: These are just my HCs, use whatever you prefer or see fit. :)

Gourmand: She/He/They Full of love and oh so happy with life. Simply went out into the world for FUN and to learn more, why not? Respected and highly regarded at the Home Tree as one of the smartest slugcats around. Coming up with ways to make meals more filling is always important with so many slugcats! Gourmand returns with many regions mapped out, and thus gives way to more slugcats to explore as groups and create homes for themselves. Teaches about the taming of lizards, and to take care when doing so. What was an incredible enemy can make a greater ally. All around a very positive, happy-go-lucky slug to me.

Artificer: She/Her I wanted her to design to be .. fire-esque with the markings like flames in a way. Obviously very troubled, so incredibly lonely because of it as well. She's afraid of connections, what if the past repeats? It would hurt too much. That SAID.. she will find her way to Outer Expanse and be welcomed with open arms. Prior, I think she was apart of a small nomadic family of slugcats so the Home Tree is something else entirely new. Arti could, in this scenario, take on the role of a community mother in a way. There's still fear of the past coming back in new ways, but in this she begins to open up more and becomes adoptive mother to slugpups whose parents have been lost in some form. I just think!! She deserves the world!!! She gets to relax. No more Situations.

Rivulet: She/He/They Somewhat based on how some aquatic animals have a whiter tummy to blend in to creatures below them in the water, and a darker upper body to camouflage to those looking down in the water. (A bit difficult with all the pink, I wanted to keep that on her though..) Very kind :) she loves to bring gifts to Moon, and periodically pays visits to 5P for as long as he still lives. I like to think they also lived with Moon until they passed themselves. Spent a ton of time listening to Moon reading the pearls he found out in the world, and exchanging stories (perhaps via writing..??) that they both have. Softanthiel still hangs around, primarily used as a way to gauge the danger of potential threats to the tree.

Spearmaster: It/They/He Definitely Looks like a slugcat but with something Wrong (on the wrong blueprints in a way). It is taller and longer than the average slugcat. Leaning more into the bodyshape it has in game (bowling pin looking ass) I’d say it has a harder time retaining fat through a liquid diet and constant movement as a messenger. Built quite sleek, I’d picture it with an agility somewhere between Artificer and Rivulet. Spearmaster has nasty little "spots" on his tail so why not give him little freckles too? SRS did not give SM a mouth, so, to me I think that he would be taught sign language. ASL (Ancient Sign Language) would no doubt be something stored and memorized on various pearls. Given its time around an Iterator it would also know how to read/write in the Ancient's language. I feel like they'd be quite a bit lonely.

Saint: They/He To me, they are a distant descendant of Monk. Their fur is very soft, almost like downy feathers in a way. Absolutely vital to their survival in the now frigid wasteland. Keen to grooming themself like a cat would! The echoes are old friends, a familiar warmth. Seeing them is like visiting family, of which Saint no longer has now. Definitely nomadic, never stays in a den for longer than three cycles. Lanterns are tucked into fur for ease of travelling with free hands. :) He's round and spotted because I love him so much!!

WHEW ok thats all. feel free to share your thoughts :)

note that i dont mind these designs being used or designs inspired by them but i would like my art to NOT be reposted.

[wearethewinx]

I'm ngl between all the winx, I always thought Aisha would be like... more lean than muscled. It's been a while since I've actively watched winx, but her body being more built for flexibility just felt right to me- maybe because she's essentially the fairy of water??? Go with the flow, curve it all around kinda vibe you know.

.......now if anyone in the Winx is buff, it would be Flora and Bloom- Flora because I have seen gardeners and farmers in my lifetime, and their biceps were enough to make me go hoowee mama and Bloom because she hates exercise but she wants to punch her enemies in the face hard enough to permanently damage their nose (Icy).

Musa... idk, she can go either way tbh- buff, stick, lean? She's just vibing. I can't ever imagine Tecna being buff, because... well. On the other hand, her being buff doesn't feel too off to me either. Also Stella has been stuck on the idea of being attractive for years, she'll either be unhealthily thin or happily fat to me- it's the uh. ED projection.

Also ik you were pointing out the obv racism w the fandoms treatment of Aisha, making her the more buff and aggressive girl out of the winx (when uhm. I'm ngl she is Not, pls let's not forget s1-3 Bloom who had no understanding of chill, and Stella who is usually in control of herself but would beat a mf after enough transgressions), but I just wanted to give a brief thought into my own personal thoughts on which of the winx would be buff.

Agreed! I definitely see Aisha as fit but lean, very beach bunny-esque

Tbh I don't really see any of the winx being 'buff,' although I do think Bloom being pretty strong makes sense. She just has strong vibes. A couple people have mentioned buff Flora to me, but I think where I differ is that I see Flora as like... a botanist, y'know? Not a farmer/landscaper. That said, I think life on Linphea would probably still be pretty physically active, so she's not unfit either

Musa I can absolutely only imagine as a stick with boobs. I like to imagine her gaining a bit of weight as she gets healthier and gets used to having better access to food, but I genuinely find it hard to picture because she just. Has stick vibes for some reason

I have unpopular opinions on Tecna. Being from an icy planet, it makes NO sense for her to be skinny, and I hc her being into martial arts (Tecna loves punching and smashing, talk to the wall), so I draw her body very similar to mine- someone who retains both muscle and fat readily, so she's very dense and thickly built despite eating and working out fairly little

I think I've talked about this before, but for me an absolutely non-negotiable, fundamental aspect of Stella's character is that her self-esteem is genuine. That she really does love how she looks, that it's the only thing she's not insecure about. It's a HUGE part of what makes her so unique and interesting, so having her worry about her weight? Having her vanity be portrayed as self-destructive instead of self-loving? It's uh. Not my cup of tea

Happily fat Stella is the enlightened man's headcanon (despite the fact that I personally draw her as thin lol)

Thanks for the ask!!

[royalreef]

(( Some minor information on Miranda's health situation:

Definitely going to go with her being immunocompromised. She can't pick up a lot of things from landfolk due to the severity of the zoonotic jump needed, but she's still sick a large portion of the time, and it doesn't take a lot to put her down for a while.

Especially prone to respiratory issues and infections. Her lungs are small and not very strong, and they're under an unusual amount of strain for a merfolk. It's easy to wind her, but it's also easy for her to feel like she can't breathe at all or that she's not breathing enough. Not to mention how nasty it gets with her gills or her nostrils being right above her eyes.

Digestive issues. Unsurprisingly, Miranda is built to eat meat and very little else. She's already not eating very much to begin with, but even through drinking landfolk drinks or having other liquids enter her body, she gets a lot of things that aren't very good for a merfolk to eat, with some things being either inedible or borderline poisonous to her. If it's not severe enough to scare Miranda away from it, then she might not raise much of a fuss at all, and isn't likely to inform anyone else about it.

Notable vitamin deficiencies. Being a merfolk, she needs a lot of calcium for her osteoderms and replacement teeth, and this calcium would normally be obtained by eating bones and marrow. Miranda doesn't get either, so she has some major calcium deficiencies that lead to unusually weak bones and porous teeth. Other necessary vitamins and nutrients are also lacking, and this makes the rest of her problems a lot worse.

Severely underweight for a merfolk. Merfolk are supposed to have a lot of fat and muscle, and Miranda has notably reduced amounts of both. This has resulted in stunting in her growth and a reduced size, but she's also a lot weaker compared to where other merfolk are. That said, she's still a merfolk. Even being weak and small for a merfolk still doesn't make her any easier for a non-merfolk to handle. Because she also doesn't get a lot of fat or blubber in her diet, something very common for other merfolk, there are other compounding issues that this causes.

Severe joint pain and joint issues. This isn't new, but I might toy more with how bad it actually is, and how other merfolk who spend a lot of time on land, like Bellanda, are realizing how much it starts to mess with them over time and what this means for Miranda. She weighs a lot more now, so there's even more concern about her organs slowly getting crushed under her own weight. Organs which were already under a lot of strain.

A lot of chronic, mystery pain that she doesn't know the source of. It's not severe enough for her medical team to be concerned, or they just don't know the source of it, or Miranda intentionally keeps it hidden, so she sometimes just has really bad pain and doesn't know why.

Memory issues. There's other cognitive issues Miranda has that I'm saving, but she has a hard time retaining a lot of memories in detail and needs reminders, or else she's prone to forgetting things. It's one of the things her having her every day micro-managed actually helps her with, as she doesn't need to rely on her own memory as badly to get her through mundane situations.

[semper-legens]

25. Destined, by PC and Kristin Cast

Owned: No, library Page count: 325 My summary: Neferet's plans have ramped up. Killing Zoey's mother to make her perfect vessel, Aurox, wasn't enough. She wants to destroy Zoey and her friends, and she's going to need power to do it. The Darkness is calling...meanwhile, Zoey's friends face trouble amongst themselves. Rephaim is still settling in, and Erin and Shaunee have started to separate themselves. And Zoey is grieving her mother's death. Can they get it together long enough to find out what really happened? My rating: 1/5 My commentary:

Back at it again with the House of Night and hoo boy folks, this one's a doozy. I'm so close to the endgame now - only three more to go after this! And as soon as they come into the library, I swear, I'm speedrunning this shit. But this post is going to be the opposite of speedrunning. Turns out I have a lot to say about this continued train wreck, and I'm gonna spill a lot of digital ink in so doing! So without further ado, let's get down to it.

Right off the bat, we have a healthy dose of ableism! Yep, this book introduces Shaylin, who became blind as a child and is Marked by Erik. But she's Marked as a red vampire, and immediately regains her sight - and is gifted an aura-sensing True Sight. And of course, she goes on and on and on about how great it is that she's not blind anymore, and how bad being blind was, and it's just enough to make me cringe. Because all blind people need is to magically get their sight back! Not, like, better accommodations to help them live in a world that hasn't been built for them, or to be treated like actual adults or something. Nope. Magical sight, that's the best thing. It carries forward that unhealthy idea that vampires in this world are physically 'perfect' - before, we've seen the kids whose bodies reject the Change being portrayed as fat, greasy, and unfit. Now, it seems that disabled kids aren't allowed to be vampires while retaining their disability. Gross!

Nefert has a new boytoy, and his name is Aurox. Get it, because he's a werebull. Sort of - he was gifted by the white bull of Darkness, and he can turn into a bull involuntarily. But because Neferet botched the summoning, Aurox has a soul and stuff. Specifically, Heath's. Remember Heath? Zoey's human boyfriend, got necksnapped by Kalona? Yeah, the book treats it like it's a big mystery, but it's so obvious that it's Heath. Aurox knows things about Zoey he shouldn't, calls Zoey by Heath's pet name for her, has his mannerisms…it's one thing for a book for teenagers to be simpler than I, an adult, expect, it's another for it to be so obvious that a toddler could realise what's going on. And yet again, we've got another topless teen badboy who angsts about being evil and is gonna get a redemption arc. Christ alive, how many of those are there? Stark, Kalona, Rephaim, now Aurox…we get it, Casts, you got a kink. Can you please come up with another male character?

Speaking of male characters, in order to sew some chaos, Neferet's invited humans to come work at the House of Night, which means we're introduced to Lenobia's cowboy, Travis. He's a cowboy. Who works at the stables. And Lenobia, running minor character and horsemaster at the House of Night, is falling hard for him. What does this relationship do, plotwise, other than add a sexy cowboy to the cast? Even though I've criticised things like Stevie Rae and Rephaim or Zoey and…most male characters…I can at least acknowledge that they serve a function. Introducing or adding to the theme of redemption, giving those characters conflicts and secrets, furthering the plot somehow. But this? I guess it's giving us an insight into Lenobia, but so far all I've gathered is that she has a thing for cowboys and doesn't want to be romantically involved with anyone but oh no this guy's too sexy. It drags the book down and takes up valuable page time - not to mention that Travis himself has less depth than a Mills and Boon cowboy. He's just…charming and folksy and respectful to Lenobia and loves horses. Exactly the sexy cowboy archetype. Bleh. Lenobia seems like she might have been an interesting character, but the new context we learn about her is entirely about her love life, or lack thereof, and nothing to do with who she is as a person. It's lacklustre, is what I'm getting at here.

Neferet continues to be the big bad, evilly doing evil things because she's evil. She's escalated to human sacrifice and gives blood to the Darkness to drink whenever she needs something. As if she wasn't enough of a cackling supervillain already. My biggest problem with Neferet is that there's no depth to her. Why is she doing what she's doing? Sure, she wants power, she wants to rule the world and become a goddess, but why? I don't need a Disney-live-action-movie backstory for her, just something other than her hatred for Zoey and lust for power! Has this always been a facet of her from before Zoey? Was she striving towards this goal before Zoey? And, of course, for all that the Casts seem to think they're clever for making the evil bull the white one, we have the Darkness demanding blood in order to do Neferet's bidding. Not at all an overdone trope. And the way they take it from her is uncomfortably sexual - almost like the Casts haven't gotten over their whole 'slutshame the villainous female character' thing. Above all, though, Neferet falls into the biggest trap for her character archetype - she's not camp enough. If you want to have a cackling balls-to-the-wall Evil Bitch as a main villain, she needs to own it. Think Maleficent! Think Ursula! Neferet just isn't interesting enough or ridiculous enough, that's my problem.

Meanwhile, there's trouble in Zoey's inner circle. Erin and Shaunee, the Twins, have started to un-twin themselves, separating from each other to become their own people. This would be a perfectly fine plot point, but for three things. One, Erin and Shaunee aren't well-developed in general - literally, their only character trait is that they are Twins. This would be a good time to give them more character, except that this mostly unfolds with people standing around and telling Shaunee how much nicer she is now, rather than us being shown it really. Two, it seems to come right out of nowhere? There's no particular reason it happens. And three, none of the other characters seem to care about Erin after it happens. They're obviously setting up for Erin to become more of an antagonistic character later, but as soon as the split occurs, all Zoey and her friends seem to care about and check in on is Shaunee - nobody ever checks in on Erin or seems to give much of a shit about her as a person. Which is…really fucking weird? Like, if Zoey et al had checked in on Erin and been yelled at or something, that'd make sense. But it's like this girl wasn't their friend at all, so quickly is she dumped. And that's just lazy writing. It's a clear signal to the reader that Shaunee is the 'good one' and Erin is the 'bad one', despite it being a particularly cold and uncaring thing for the characters to do in-universe. There's no reason why Zoey can't be like 'hey are you okay' to Erin at least once. It'd give a chance to show how Erin is changing! But nope. Subtext is for cowards. Let's just spell it all out to the audience. Wouldn't want them to start thinking.

And yet, for all that seems to be going on here, that's actually a negative. Because it makes the book so unfocused. You can hardly concentrate on one plot thread, so much is being brought up and juggled and dropped. And a lot of it isn't resolved - sure, this is a series and there's three more books after this, but it just feels like the Casts are throwing a lot of spaghetti at the wall to see what will stick. It strikes me as a series that hasn't been tightly planned, that was loosely improvisational, and it really shows. New conflicts come out of nowhere and aren't properly foreshadowed in anyone's behaviour. New twists are set up that are predictable from the moment they are introduced. Characters are sort of fleshed out, but only in very limited ways. Characters stick to one-dimensional archetypes. There's a lot going on, but it's all as thin as paper. And it's just as bad as all the books that came before it.

Next up, time travelling meets a pirate tale.

[houseboatisland]

Rosie for the ask game?

(Team Red Rosie for the win!!)

Tidmouth Marshalling Yard had already grown steadily from 1925 onward, but by the end of the Second World War had more than doubled in size. During the conflict, freight tonnages had risen month by month, and the REC was keen to avoid supply bottlenecks. When the war was finally over, rather than being overbuilt, this new capacity kept finding use. The soon-to-be North Western Region of British Railways, for many economic reasons beyond the scope of this post, was one of the few parts of the network to enter Nationalization "in the green."

Tidmouth and Vicarstown, the NWR/NW Region's two competing power centers, had by then spent twenty years duking it out over available tank engines, (and a million other things.) The Big Three Strike of 1933 specifically happened because Vicarstown, the main provider of tank engines after Thomas' transfer, just... stopped letting Tidmouth use them. The Fat Director, taking it from all angles at that time, couldn't make them budge. The war obviously broke their resistance, but when peace kicked in, Vicarstown was firm: Tidmouth Marshalling Yards wouldn't again be allowed use of their tank engines, and they were on notice to get some of their own.

In the immediate years after the war, the soon-to-be NW Region went on an engine shopping spree. And why shouldn't they have, when demobilized War Department engines were being offered at firesale prices? Austerity 2-8-0s, 2-10-0s, and a handful of saddletanks were bought. All survive, and are to be counted among the "Unseen Engines" helping run the railway without acknowledgement in Awdry and the television series' bodies of work... except one.

Chief among them was a USATC S100 Class, nameless and still painted battleship grey, built by Vulcan Iron Works in 1944. For reasons unknown, (but most likely a bureaucratic oversight,) this particular engine was never shipped to the Continent, remaining in storage right up to V-E Day. Her lack of experience for her age, and Europe now being swamped with necessary motive power, made her especially cheap. The NWR, in their last purchase before becoming a region, snapped her up.

After only being fired a handful of times, (and that was to just shunt her brothers and sisters around,) Rosie was EAGER to work, and especially to learn, and she was based at Tidmouth Yards from the outset. She retained the skills taught to her to a tee, (her arrested development making her something of a genius,) and by 1947 she had rocketed past the other tank engines to become Head Shunter of Tidmouth Yards. She's still in this position all these years later, because there's simply no outdoing her.

Rosie disagrees with her TV portrayal. She has NO idea where the "idolizing Thomas" thing came from; she's crossed paths with him millions of times but just finds him "cool enough" at best, in her words. Her "new" livery is a decent recreation, although her underframes aren't yellow and her red is much deeper. She's also a bit scruffier. The most accurate bit is her powerful headlamp, which is the same bronze color. The lamp has been passed down from Head Shunter to Head Shunter, and is incredibly coveted.

The pink livery had no basis in reality whatsoever, and Rosie found it quite insulting. (*gag noise* "That's supposed to be me? Nuh-uh, no way, alright? They think I play with dollies too or some'n?")

In her time in storage, Rosie adopted a strong Philadelphia sort of accent, which she maintains to this day. This led to some confusion at first. First meeting James in 1946, she told him to wait while she went "fuh wooder." James, baffled, just mutely let her go and do whatever that meant.

[patriciavetinari]

I don't... like when conversation about fat people includes the arguement 'everyone has folds, everyone has a stomach tHaTs WhErE yOuR iNtErNaL oRgAnS aRe'.

While true, this arguement misses the point because... Well, very thin people with very flat stomachs with minimal folds visible even when they bend over all also have internal organs.

I mean... Every size -000 / 8374839xs model on the runway has internal organs. Enough of them to keep the body alive and functioning and walking the runway. Critically underweight people have internal organs. Like... Yeah, my stomach has internal organs. AND it has a large layer of fat on top of them that forms what is called an apron stomach because it hangs down like an apron over my lower abdomen. This feature of my body is widely considered unattractive, it's pretty much impossible to change without surgery, makes clothing choices difficult, is a direct RESULT of dieting and weight loss, and if I were to give into peer pressure and get the surgery to diminish it, such surgery would still leave space for my internal organs.

Thin people are not thin because they get their organs removed and thus acieve flat stomachs. Thin people do not store their organs elsewere. Thin body also has space for internal organs.

Room for internal organs is not a valid or scientific or in any way meaningful arguement in support of stomachs larger than -000 size. Stomach is one of the places where human body that is built to retain fat can store that fat. And people with such bodies deserve exactly the same rights as people whose bodies store fat elsewhere or don't store much at all.

There's no body type that doesn't have space for internal organs.

In my case, I think it wasn't an accident a lot of my post-ED weight settled as an apron stomach, because that was also the part of me that I used to beat violently with fists and dumbbells and tried to rip off more than once during fatphobia-induced rage fits, plus it's close to reproductive system and the body might put in extra work to protect that area.

And if someone's self conciousness lingers on having a fold when bent over, or having anything above size -0 as their waist measurement - I truly don't care about those people. Get better, whatever, have witty comebacks ready, tell yourself to 'tAkE uP sPaCe' but I have minus zero time for such body 'issues' where a size S dreams of being an XS when I'm here trying to find peace with an XXL stomach that causes me to experience medical, housing and professional discrimination. All while enjoying my internal organs.

[retaurd]

Embarrassed about your poll but I am considered obese (BMI 33) but I have lost 40-50 pounds over the past year and one day I would like to simply exist in the 'overweight' BMI category, hopefully this time next year another 40-50 pounds will come off. I'm ashamed of the anti-fat people and ashamed of the pro-fat people. One side yells, it's gross to be fat! And the other side yells, being skinny is literally impossible if you've ever been fat!

dude the bmi thing pisses me off. im 5'11 and not on the willowy thin side at all, ever since i was sick and had my thyroidectomy i have surgically induced hypothyroidism which doesn't help the fact that im built like i carry sheep on my shoulders and babies on my hips all day. now i retain more pillowiness or whatever (ive been extremely thin before, it looks weird with my proportions tbh i look like a gibbon) and im just trying to accept that. but every time i put in my weight and height i get that my bmi is overweight, which i can tolerate i guess because i suppose my mass is QUITE SPLENDID but sometimes ive gotten obese? but im not, and have never had a doctor advise me to lose weight because im obese. like im literally just a large person.

on top of it ive done keto and intermittent fasting and lost ranging from 50lbs immediately post-cancer to another ~20lbs when i really focused on my diet and it still will tell me im a fat fuck. u really can't win out here with the bmi calculator

as a tall/big girl i can tell you like. narrowbrained people are just conditioned now to have the beauty standard be knobby skeletal people. and no offense at all to the knobby skeletal people. but what im saying is when you interact with healthy normal people they really don't care and will find you attractive as well. it's the terminally online weird people with body dysmorphia and outward-projected insecurity that ever say any of that shit.. everyone knows obesity is unhealthy. literally just do your best but don't hate and kill yourself over it. i wish that was easier to say and a lot easier to do. i struggle with it too

[stevestonbike]

Learning new things.

My new wheels arrived for the Canyon. It came with alloy wheels and quite fat tires. Upside of that is the ride was soft and comfortable. Downside it was as aero as a comfort bike without the wicker basket. The tires were chubby.

So I fussed and fretted and shopped and bought a set of carbon 50mm deep HUNT Aero 50s. They were on sale as I think that particular design is being replaced. It cost a bit more than the set of wheels from China, but at least I am buying from a company based in the UK. Everything is built in Asia, and if I have a choice for Bike bits Taiwan is number one as this is. And the UK respects warranties.

I had to learn about mounting bike discs. Not as straight forward as I thought.

The wheels arrived and yesterday I set about installing them. I had to swap the brake discs on both wheels which I had never done, and the cassette on the rear which I have done hundreds of times. I thought that the tool used to remove the threaded part securing the discs was actually the same one used to do the cassette. At least that was as advertised. Nope.

I had another tool that grabbed the outside of the part rather than the inside as this thing had bumps for both types. That tool is for bottom brackets. I had a hard time with them as I felt the tool slip. Oh dear do I have to go to the bike shop? I almost gave in. I even took a small torch to heat the piece thinking that would help. No Joy. So I looked at doing the other wheel so at least one would be ready. Then I realized the slipping like a bump was actually not between the tool and the nut, but part of the retaining detentes on the the ring thing. Emboldened I went for it.

The brake discs were swapped. Then the cassette. If you have done one of those stacked cassettes its so much fun right? Almost there.

I had a new set of tires I had bought last year when I thought that Trek was coming. These were Pirelli Velo 25s. I found lots of conflicting information on these mounting them on the HUNT wheels.

First Pirelli had a chart on the box with recommended minimum pressures. As listed for my body weight it was 105 psi MINIMUM! HUNT had listed for my body weight a maximum pressure of 95 psi. Errr.

The HUNT wheels are wider with an internal width of just a bit more than 19mm rather than the standard 17mm. That means my 25 mm tires become 28mm wide when mounted. A note on the Pirelli box said if you have a 19mm wide rim you can reduce the pressure by 9 psi. OK that gives me 96 psi which is close to the HUNT figure. Further Pirelli says if the road is rough you can reduce the pressure another 5 psi. Damn this is complicated.

I go on the Pirelli website and my tires are no longer listed. They have new ones. The closest to mine are now 26mm. Also it seems that some tires can be run either tubeless or not. The wheels will work tubeless, but I have heard bad stories about tubeless. One friend says they are always going flat and last only a month or two. He is a big guy. ( A bit heavier than I am.)

It gets weirder in that they now have exotic inner tubes for Pirellis at least that are very light so they weigh less than tubeless and even tubular glue-on tires. Those tubes are almost the same price as the tires, and you need a special patch kit if they puncture. Too much for my brain right now. I am recycling some old rubber inner tubes for now and have some new ones on order.

I decided to set the tire pressure to 95 psi on the rear and 85 on the front. The rear takes about 2/3s of my weight. No bike riding position evenly distributes the weight front to back. If I stand on the pedals it is more like 60% / 40%. I enjoyed the lack of buzz on my hands with the fat tires. Lower pressure helps.

I also have to tweak the derailleur as the new wheels shifted the cassette a wee bit. Maybe I should have popped in that spacer. Was it for 10 to 11 speed, or 11 to 12 speed? No FN idea. A twist of the adjuster fixes it. That is the one real advantage of a Di2 shifter. It adjusts itself.

So all buttoned up and I will see on today's VYR run. I'm Aero again!

[andstilliam]

i'm definitely less bloated than i was 3 years ago when i was running a lot along with other sports. i was actually consistently bloated because i was eating large portions + the digestive issues. looking back, i was definitely bloated because i have the same winter coat that has a lot of space at the stomach and waist area. in 2021, after dinner, it did not lol.

however, body comp is different. my arms thinned out quickly this time around and they're thinner than they were a couple months ago. in the past, that would be enough to gauge my weight without weighing in but because i gained muscle and lost fat, there's just no way to tell. i lost fat and built muscle in my legs which means they are stockier at the moment. my calves are bigger. my AE jeans are tighter than when i had more fat and less muscle on my legs. i bought a pair of Hollister jeans from Winners size 27 the other day when i went to the mall and they fit very comfortably all over.

so i'm definitely less bloated, however, it's still not normal. i can just feel the hard rock stool accumulating every time i eat, and i don't eat very much. shrinking simultaneously definitely helps to rid the uncomfortable feeling but everyday i wake up knowing that i have to go the bathroom today. like i am not empty at all. i mean, i think that's how it's supposed to be-- but in light of the restriction, i don't know how normal that is. so i don't know what to make of that, but it's just crazy. even more so that i'm having regular bowel movements eating this low with burning most of it off. i mean, frankly, it's not really that low. i'm sure i eat in the 4 digits with what i choose not to track, but keep in mind that my portions are usually small and this is in stark contrast to when i'd be running a lot. even with my portions being this small, i'm more than satiated and the idea or risk of binge eating just isn't there. when i was at my lowest, there were days i ate an entire block of tofu for dinner, totally underestimating the calories because i didn't know how to count calories...but also, like, i could fit that in and be fine. the fact that i was even able to liquid fast that long just indicates that there's so much backed up stool in there. i could be less bloated for the size i am currently and for the way that i am eating since i don't eat large portions. so it's definitely eye opening now. before, it could be justified by how much i was eating in one sitting or if i was retaining water. but i am not retaining mass fluid at the moment nor i am eating a lot in one sitting. just yesterday, i didn't get to go to the bathroom until later on in the day and i drank some water + a coffee and my belly was full on that little and i bet 99% of that is the backed up stool. it's just not normal.

but because it's working at the moment, i don't want to change it. i'm happy eating everyday and going to the bathroom without help. i don't want that to change at the moment so i'd rather just keep going and ridding it slowly and naturally because it's more comfortable for me. but i can definitely expect to lose more weight easily like this because i don't believe that i'm feeling half of the hunger that i should or could be feeling. idk, just my thoughts!

[chaiwritespoetry]

It's so depressing to be a fat person in a thin centric world Because like, I will never fit certain aesthetics

I will never be some people's idea of pretty, I probably will never feel pretty

And people will always try to shove you into a tiny box of their making Lazy, unathletic, weak, glutton, unhealthy, unimportant, worthless

And it doesn't matter how many people prove to them fat does not always equal one of those boxes Because fat is something heavily connected to genetics, and can be caused by medication or a condition

And what's even worse is when it's your own doctors who try to shove you into a box And don't even bother to give you a chance or even look at you before doing it

I will always have to pick and choose what I can take with a doctor They're not fatphobic? Perfect maybe I'll get a suggestion other than a diet or exercise

Maybe they won't contribute to my eating disorder I've had basically my whole life Maybe I might actually get help for some root problems that can cause weight gain or retainment

And they just make it worse, the lack of medical care leads to us becoming actually unhealthy And then we die prematurely because we weren't worth helping because of the size of our body

You're restricted from so much because the entire world is built on this idolized concept of looking like a child And while there are fat children that's not what people are looking for

And of course that in and of itself is a whole other issue Like why are we idolizing looking like children that's so fucking gross

But that's not the point I've rambled upon topics I didn’t mean to delve into I meant to dive down the fact that I'll never fit certain things I ache to be

I want people to see me and be met with confusion Not because I'm fat but because I look like I'm a fairytale character

I want people to pause and ask "are they human?" I want to look ethereal and whimsical

I want to be what children see and makes them believe magic is real Just in my everyday life

I want to be able to wear a flowy medieval men's shirt and some silly pants Have long unnaturally colored slightly curly hair

With big stompy boots that announces every step And so much jewelry I jingle across the space I'm in

But because I'm 5'3.75 and in a mid to plus size body If I wore that people would stare at me with hatred for daring to take up space

And it wouldn't even be a thought across their mind that I'd look ethereal It would be ew why the fuck would they wear that in public

I would have videos taken of me without my permission and posted to tiktok And the entire video would be about how we need to bring shame back

But if a skinny person went out and did that? "Oh my god I think I just saw a fairy in walmart!"

I want to just exist and not be ridiculed for things largely out of my control I want to be able to be celebrated along with everyone else

I want to be able to take up space without people recoiling in disgust I want to not be hated for the fact that I exist in a bigger body than what they deem ideal

[dinrelsanddragons]

Taunch Kimbatuul

“One of the things I have learned is to always protect those who cannot protect themselves. That is why I train and grow strong. I believe that is why I was born.” – Taunch Kimbatuul

General information

Name: Taunch Kimbatuul

Birthdate: June 3rd

Present age: 32 years

Birthplace: A cabin in Naydra Snowfield

Present residence: Hyrule Castle

Occupation: Royal Guard to King Rhoam

Sexuality: Demisexual, homoromantic

Appearance:

Body type: Ectomorph (Built for stamina, does not acquire fat or muscle easily)

Height: 6'1"

Weight: 199 lbs

Skin color: Pale violet

Eye color: Blue with slit pupils

Hair color: Violet

Clothes: Royal Guard’s outfit

Reference art

Possessions and equipment:

Royal shield, Royal broadsword, Royal Bow

Personal History:

Taunch was born a half-dragon, to Hylian mother Caomh and frost dragon father Madrash. His mother raised him largely alone in a poor neighborhood with rare visits from his father, but Taunch was a skilled fighter from a young age who trained in the Hateno militia to protect the town from monsters. His skills saw him recommended to be a retainer of the Majeru family, and eventually he gained a recommendation for the royal guard. He accepted the offer, but only after speaking at length with his liege of the time, Kendra, and ensuring she would be safe without him. Sadly, even the funds brought home from his work as a retainer to the Majerus was not enough to spare his mother from a terrible disease…

Personality:

Loyal to his liege(s)

Thoughtful, kind, and helpful

Trusting, but not without reason

Talents/Traits:

Capable of flight with his draconic wings.

Family:

Caomh – Mother, Deceased, Hylian

Madrash – Father, Frost dragon

[sacrificecage]

Commentary under cut:

Animal friends retain extra fur and animal features. Standard kemonomimi! Special bonus goes to Chuchu, who has tentacle hair.

Fluff's hair *is* yarn! Patchlanders have yarn strands for hair and felt for skin and stuffing for blood, being massive plush dolls. Fluff's hair matches locs much closer than other Patchlanders, however.

I haven't finished Morpho's outfit. They might end up in East Asian garb, once I finalise it all, and I was thinking about samurai armour today.

Taranza *did* gave six arms! Not anymore.

Everyone has some fantastic hair stylists! And I love me some fancy hair~

Gooey wears outside-friendly clothes, being raised by a forest ranger in a... Forest. It makes it much more comfortable for exploring, and he never grew out of it!

Marx was born without arms, but has used magic all his life to replace them. He has clockwork prosthetics now!

Taranza's new arms are magically manifested, like Magolor and Marx's.

Dedede is not the only fat character. Nuff said. If you want a body type I don't draw enough, take muscular characters!

Galacta is tall for a Starran, at... 5'6.

Dedede's beard is made of blue feathers growing in. He is very proud of it.

Meta's mask covers his whole face (insecure), but Dark Meta/Reflecta couldn't care less. His face being revealed means more to recognise him as a hero!

Kirby's hair is his blood vessels allowing his magic to freely respire (Starran trait). His blood is pink, because magic (Also Starran trait).

Meta Knight is 5'0 tall.

Nuff said..? Morpho, Meta, Galacta, Fluff, Flamberge, Sectonia, etc, etc.

I mean.. The rest of Susie's family. Plus, like half the Dark Matters are White white, and Adeleine, and the fairies, off the top of my head.

Mirror Worlders are their own guys. They do what they want! They're kinda pissed at their origins! I give them their own names! They're their own people!!!

Eh.. Sorta? Susie doesn't have robot prosthetics, but she wears braces to support her unnaturally tall body that she built into functioning mecha.

Meta Knight needs heels to curve his deeply seated height trauma.

It's faster to count who doesn't have elf ears. Elfilin/s (Animal ears), Adeleine (Round), Waddle Dees (Round), most of the animal friends (Animal ears), Dark Matter (Frills, à la axolotl), Marx (Goat ears).

All Starrans have the cutest babyfaces of all time. It's a species thing.

Waddle Dee face mask is a cultural thing about revealing the face only when eating and allowing oneself to be vulnerable, from their history as alien prey.

Dedede wears Japanese clothing, because Dream Land is Space Japan.

Their outfits are greatly different because you cannot tell me they'd all have the same sense of style for Nunnery. Flamberge doesn't care and wears pants under her skirt. Francisca goes fullskirt because she's cold, and her legs are weird post-death, and Zan just took the standard uniform.

Sectonia can and will show off how she's able to fight in a massive fucking ballgown. She can float, she's a total egoist, why not? Also I took inspo from the French Revolution for her. So.

i was inspired

[lilabyrne]

shattered realms characters body type headcanons? i guess

jenna - she’s canonically more well fed than most delphi an miners because her father is an innkeeper. also she’s able to pass for a boy with her hair under a cap and i believe her chest bound? i imagine her to have a good bit of body fat, is most likely strong but not like. muscular.

ash - i think he’s very long and spindly, he’s got that classic sickly scholar mage build. no muscle at all really. skinny but not like malnourished

lyss - she’s canonically a big girl. broad shoulders, muscular in a more body builder way not like a lean muscle but muscle layered with fat. she’s also tall but not lanky. she’s like a wall

hal - similar to lyss in terms of muscular strength padded with fat. also a strong jaw i think that’s in canon. fairly tall. bulky and built. a bit of a triangle body (wide shoulders narrower hips, more muscle in upper body than lower body)

breon - malnourished-skinny. he does not get enough food and he has a drug addiction to a fictional drug, but he smokes a lot and is dependent on the drug from a fairly young age, so it’s safe to say that’s impacted his body. i think he’s small and sickly

lila - she’s wiry, well-fed but not a noble like hal or lyss so probably a bit leaner. she’s not super muscular but has a bit of tone to her arms. she’s quick and blends in, i’d say around average height

destin - he’s a spymaster and a former soldier. i think he’s somewhat strong, but again not exactly visibly muscular. i would imagine he has some sort of stress induced weight loss that he recovers from post-main events (and therefore gains weight as a form of recovery. love)

evan - grew up malnourished and also spent most of his life on a pirate ship, with not great food, even when he got out of absolute poverty. he’s skinny and wiry but struggles to put on/retain muscle